


The Colors of His Life

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Past Childhood Abuse, finding yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 08:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16594385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Daryl witnesses many colors as he grows up but meeting Rick transforms his life’s story.





	The Colors of His Life

“Life is hard.” That’s what Daryl’s ma told him when he was five, at six she was burnt to ashes where she slept on a dirty couch. The gray smoke and ragging red of fire swept through the shack he called a house to claim her as he watched.

He discovered the contrast of dark rich red before he even understood what blood was as pa lashed out against his back with an electrical cord the very next night. 

“Things are never easy for a Dixon.” Merle rasped out to him stitching up his back as he chugged on vodka before he was legal. The blood was almost like a friend coming to welcome him each day. Half the time he whispered a prayer that pa won’t be home when he came home from school as he learned life ain’t even hard, it’s unbearable.

Merle goes to juvie and he’s left alone with an angry father. Nothing he does is good enough and being quiet isn’t enough. He gets drunk and passes out in a puddle of his own vomit with no one there, lucky pa doesn’t come home to see he drank the last of his stash. As he closes his eyes he sees the filthy walls being claimed by mold and the specks of dirt across the floor and wonders if there is more to life.

Understanding the white bumpy raised tissue are called scars Daryl touches them, his body is littered in them, Merle’s handy downs make him look skinnier than he actually is as his stomach strikes out in a painful protest of being empty. 

“There’s no time for tears.” Daryl whispers to himself because his voice is my only companion. All he sees in the mirror is ugliness.

Each stab his pa takes he waits for death, see the brink of it through hazy eyes but it never comes. He years to see ma, the nice lady who was once his neighbor, the stray dog that he used to wished was his own but that would be ushering Spot towards and early death. All he sees instead is the rich coating of blood pooling over the dirty floor transforming it’s color and trash, bags of it on the floor that Daryl can’t clean out fast enough as he passes out.

Pa dies a few weeks later, Daryl didn’t even see it coming. One day he’s beating his ass, placing more white there as well and when he can escape he runs to the woods to hide. The next day he comes home to see pa slumped over a beer cold and pasty, way past death. The cooness he feels upon his damp skin is a relief even as he cries out for the first time in no fear of the repercussions.

There’s no more tears for pa or his life. 

“Nothing comes easy.” Daryl whispers into the his new bed at a youth home.

If pa was the devil then foster parents are a new beast, on that words can’t describe. They take what dignity he has left and Daryl doesn’t even try for anything anymore.

Dale is the only one who would take in a High School dropout, give him a job and a home cooked meal on his first day of work. A place to stay above the shop with only the warning that rent will eventually come out of his paycheck.

Four checks in and he sees. Sees that not all men are bad. He lives in cramped quarters but doesn’t pay a dime for it and hot meals come every night, sometimes even an apple pie.

“We weren’t made to be appreciated.” Merle warns Daryl from prison when he visits. He’s lucky right now but is under no illusion all is well.

A good job, decent meals, and okay pay won't’ heal old wounds. They fester, the trauma of being abused goes past half healed marks and Dale’s kindness only goes so far. Daryl cries in his no longer new bed, it’s the softest he’s had but it doesn’t numb his ache.

Daryl comes down for work and pops the cash register, it’s empty and he looks up to see some tools are missing, car batteries too. He didn’t hear anything last night and starts to panic. Dale will see what everyone else does, that he shouldn't have placed his trust in Daryl. Hell he will think he did it himself but with shaky fingers he dials up his boss to tell him the truth, the only thing Daryl could ever give back to this hard world.

“Son it’s okay just call the police.” Dale tells him with a calm voice and assures him he will be there soon.

“Never trust a little piggie.” Merle’s words echo and he picks up the phone.

The sun is a blazing orange, there’s a slight breeze but the weather is welcoming when Daryl props the door waiting on the police. He hears the steps of boots as he walks to the door then all he sees is blue. An ocean of it that’s the calmest he’s ever seen before his gaze trails down to a smile.

“Rick Grimes.” 

Daryl shakes his hand and exhales and when another cop barges towards him he flinches at the man who's trying to march past the door. But Rick squeezes his hand as another stops Shane in his tracks and settles him with one cock of an eyebrow and Daryl breathes again.

Daryl explains what happened as Rick listens and Shane rolls his eyes and touches everything he can. There’s not much room for fingerprint dusting and an investigation he realizes when you live in a small town.

Dale arrives and it takes everything not to crumble. He apologizes as he tells him he never even heard a thing but one long hug from the only person he’s ever allowed such a gesture and all his relieved. 

“This ain’t your fault son.”

It feels like he means more than just the robbery and he closes his eyes and leans into Dale’s embrace more and realizes maybe life isn’t so bad. Just maybe.

Daryl stays and listens as the cops tell Dale what they are going to do which isn’t much, he’s comforted though when he hears Dale’s mention he has business insurance. He was told to take the day off and relax but it doesn’t feel right and he needs the money.

He’s looking at the broken window of the door so hard deciding he will fix it himself that he hollers when Dale grabs his shoulder. It’s instantly released with an apology. 

“I told you to take the day off.” Dale says.

His breath hitches. They don’t know what’s wrong with him and he barely understands it himself and he sinks his nails into his hand and looks down with shame at the pitiful cry he let out.

A warm hand touches his shoulder, too close to his neck and he looks up at white flesh that’s not jagged like most of his but smooth and he sees those eyes, still so blue but they dare not to fill with pity. 

“I think your friend is right, you need to go home and relax.”

Rick doesn't know his home is upstairs and it doesn't’ feel like home but it is safe and he nods his head and pulls away. He walks up the stairs hoping they aren’t staring at him but it’s too quiet in the shop.

“Hard life he’s had. I’m going to be telling him for a week it’s not his fault. He’s my hardest worker.” Dale explains.

Rick nods his head and smiles and feels his heart flutter and he already knows why. He has a crush.

Daryl’s day off becomes two paid days off and he wants to refuse but Dale doesn’t allow it.

It’s time to go back to work and the shop door rings right at eight and sighing Daryl looks up thinking it's way too early. It can't be though when it’s Rick in his cop uniform standing taller than two days before and he waits for it. The accusation

“Got you breakfast.” He hears instead.

A pastry bag and coffee are placed in front of him. Rick’s smiling and Daryl hasn’t ’ seen many smiles directed towards him in life.

He pulls out the doughnut, it’s sprinkles so many different hues. Blue, pink, white, and purple and he’s not sure what to say so he takes the top off the cup, the pitch black liquid starts to steam up before he smells it.

“Dale said you liked your coffee black.”

No one’s brought him breakfast, hell no one’s even asked what he likes in life and he just nods and sips on the coffee and looks up at Rick.

Rick’s pacing but it doesn't set Daryl off and at a lost of what to say he stuffs the doughnut in his mouth and damn it just melts in his mouth, he drinks more coffee.

Finally gaining his courage he clears his throat. “Why did you bring me breakfast?”

Rick’s smile almost feel like home and the cop stutters but gets it out. “Well Daryl I was going to ask if you wanted to go out tonight. Only if you're interested.”

“LIke a date?” He didn't’ mean to ask that though he really wanted to know and it was too blunt for the kind of man he was.

“Yes a date.”

Daryl's so nervous he wants to say no, wants to run back upstairs, wishes he was anywhere else because Rick doesn’t know he’s trash. Used up and broken is what he is but he surprises himself. 

“Sure, nothing too fancy though.” He says and he means it.

“All you need is a pair of jeans and a t shirt darling. Eight o’clock I’ll pick you up”

Rick leaves as soon as he said that sentence.

Darling. Daryl dares to believe life can be more than just not bad.

The date ends up being at a restaurant. The lighting is low and they are tucked in a corner. It’s not too loud and no one’s staring at them. Daryl learns that Rick is only twenty two where he’s eighteen. They laugh and keep it light and Rick is easy to get along with, they have lots in common. It’s almost as if they are just good old friends except Rick’s palm has been petting his knee all night and his eyes seem to twinkle as they only look at him.

Near the end of their date things seem too natural and it makes Daryl spook. It can’t be this easy to connect. No one wants him and he pushes Rick’s hand away and whispers. It scares him but he has to say it.

“I ain’t normal. My life’s been shit. My brothers in jail, ma’s dead, pa’s dead but it’s almost like he’s still living.” 

Daryl knows what he’s saying about his pa doesn’t makes sense and that his warning didn’t sum up his feelings. Like everything he does it's not quite enough.

Rick’s hand comes back but it’s not placed on his knee, instead it squeezes his hand. Rick’s so close he feels his breath on his cheeks.

“Your past ain’t on you Daryl. It’s not all you are and you deserve more than what you were given. Don’t be scared and don’t assume you know how much I can take. Just trust me.”

It’s can’t dissolve his pain but Daryl hears him and he’s staring down at the maroon tablecloth but it’s like he’s staring into Rick’s soul.

The kiss doesn’t come until the second date. They are sitting in Rick’s car talking after dinner, the conversation rolling like a gentle sea from one topic to another then Rick’s lips are on his. He’s never been kissed before but he slacks his jaw and lets the other in until their panting and Rick’s stomach is digging into the center console. It's perfect and Daryl smiles, probably only for the fifth time in his life. That night he wants to ask Rick to take him home with him but he doesn’t.

It’s only later when he’s lying in bed that he realizes he saw no colors when he kissed Rick. It was only Rick he saw.

——————————-—————

White. So many white cherokee roses fill the room. They are beautiful even if there is too many of them. He no longer associates white with the jagged edges of his skin just as red is nothing but a color these days.

It’s his wedding day. Not a day he could imagine. Here it is though five years later after meeting Rick. The chapel is full of friends. Not Rick’s friends, their friends.

He makes it up the aisle and sees Dale and his wife dabbing away tears. He has too many friends. No, that’s not the right words. Family, there is too many of them to name. Over half he’s met through Rick but they are a part of him too.

Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, Carol, Beth. Those are his favorite but there are so many more.

He see’s Rick’s mouth gaping, taking in his dark charcoal suit. Never did he think someone so beautiful would look at him like that. There’s no insecurity, Daryl knows he looks good and he can’t wait to strip Rick down tonight.

Gabriel marries them, way past being the judging type after meeting them and some might think it’s weird but when they kiss everyone applauds.

It’s taken Daryl this long to accept he’s worth something and he’s never going back. Rick and him are going to adopt some kids and make the nice white house they already own more of a home. Full of love and good memories.

“Best day of my life was Dale’s shop being broken into.” Rick whispers and kisses his ear, it’s something he does every night before they go to bed.

“Darn right. Better be glad I picked you Grimes.” He can dare to say after gaining confidence.

He swoops Rick down and kisses him boldly, see’s how he’s made his husband fluster.

“Get him pookie!” Carol screams out and hugs onto Sophia.

Rick laughs and swats him away as he stands. If he could only pick one color to see for the rest of his life it would be the blue of Rick’s eyes but he has options now, isn’t limited by depressing choices.

“Life is easy when you finally find your place.” Daryl tells his children Carl and Judith one night before bed with a thousandth smile upon his lips.


End file.
